anita vs soundwave

when i first started touring with jules and alfie, i didn't think there would be as much work as i have put into the years. there were always little mishaps and happenings when we would be on the road, and in the beginning, when we didn't have a tour bus and lived in a van, it was hard living with alfie and some of his tendencies. to begin with, have you ever tried to live with two boys that would, every night lets say, perform on stage and gather up sweat that is unimaginably smelly? well okay imagine that and the nagging of alfie who, alteriory, would not like this sweat. we would have to find some place to stop so the boy could shower while jules would mull around and hang by the snack machines and ultimately, get all the sweets he could get his little paws on. don't get me wrong, i loved this. we were in a new city almost every night and meeting people of different places, faces, and backgrounds. i loved the seconds that i got to spend with these two boys, but after a while hygienics, bad habits, and other shite would get to the best of me. i like to complain sometimes, but i also mediate. i would sit back and observe as alfie and jules tried to open a bottle of olives because they both weighed, at the moment, under 120 pounds. (i was always the one that had to watch out for the heavy things for they could barely lift their own weight.) no day passed by where i wouldn't have stains on my tshirt (and no i don't mean this in the rhetorical pop star diva way, ashlee simpson wanna bes) perhaps a rip in my jeans, or smelling like some other sort of food. jules was always ready to drink, alfie was always ready to sleep, and i was always ready to just walk away. i still love them, i've always loved them. i will always love them, but sometimes? its like touring with anita, of course, full grown walking, singing, and mean music playing machines. (i can only imagine what soundweave will be like.)

now i still love them two but then after a while i guess god thought i was a little bored so he decided to cause the big whambam and anita came along. let me say something a lot of people don't know, or rather like to block out. i didn't want anita to come. i knew i was too young, i knew that i was going to fuck up something along the way, and i knew that because i never had a father, i was not going to give anita something she could call "dad." from the beginning i told lena that i was going to give her the money that she needed to take care of the angel that was made by us, but after alfie and i had a long talk, i realized that here was god -- allowing some redemption. because my dad had been such shite, i could redeem him by giving anita someone that she could love forever, eternally, unconditionally, and with no restrictions. i could be the one person that she could always go to. i am young, i know that, but i feel like with jules and alfie i can do this. i just need to get her away from her vampire like mother in the end because i know she's a bint and she's going to taint her mind. i get defensive when it comes to the issue of my daughter, i only want what's best for her. so when i finally met her it was epically beautiful. i remember i couldn't be there for when she was born, and that night jules and i drunk ourselves to oblivion cos i couldn't really deal with not being there. i had failed with the FIRST task in my daughter's life. what the hell kind of crap was that to show? alfie made it better though by telling lena's lazy arse to get on webcam so i could at least see a fucked up pixelate image of the beautiful kid. it was worth it cos now i get to see her face almost every day when we're not touring. (perhaps every day for the rest of her life is i can get her away from lena.) well living with anita is sort of easy because i was prepared for it. the best training of all if you ever want to have kids?? living with jules and alfie. i don't get mad or irritated when she puts a little throw up on my shirt cos i've have jules barf all over my shirt before, and my lap as well. some of it may have just gotten in my mouth as well. i don't mind when she throws toys at my face, or pinches my cheeks, or bites my fingers cos along the way, alfie has done those things. (he's also pulled my hair when we're sleeping only because he says its comforting??) my daughter does not though 1) commit bro rape or 2) is addicted to porn. so those are traits alfie and jules possess all by their selves. (although i am no saint.) she does though, 1) enjoy the good sound of music, 2) likes pawing the guitars. she also likes to coo to our songs, and i think thats something that every father wants to hear. (that is if you are part of a worldly known band.) she is well on her way to becoming the first established member of soundweave. i am sure that alfie and jules will find a way to give her a drummer, and a vocalist very soon. (or she'll be mad at uncle alfs and uncle ju) speaking of good music, i think lately we've been walking on cloud nine with the awards we got at the aria's. alfie was jumping off the roof and i think that was the highlight of the week all in itself. the way he's been lately, i just don't like it. so the revival of him, and the smile?? brilliance. jules is heading to the US soon and i won't tell him to his face but yeah i'll miss him. i am going to have to find other means to entertain myself because spending time with a little baby, well its fun, but she can't talk back.

i think this means i have to renew my porn subscription.

anyway, that concludes this blog and until next timee,
xx cody/ducky/giant